


show me where my armor ends (show me where my skin begins)

by Les_vents



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/F, Friends to Enemies, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Knight AU, Knight Adora (She-Ra), Knight Catra (She-ra), Sword lesbians, we do not kill our gays here, we let them thrive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28047267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Les_vents/pseuds/Les_vents
Summary: “Don’t listen to what Lonnie says.” Adora tries to console her, tightening the bandages around Catra’s hand quickly and efficiently. “You know she’ll just repeat whatever comes out of Shadow Weaver’s mouth to get to you.”Catra grumbles, snatching her hand back as soon as Adora finishes.Something always aches in Adora’s chest at seeing her best friend so upset. But she keeps quiet, knowing that Catra wouldn’t appreciate treating her like she was weak.“But she’s right.” Catra hisses, too lethal and too miserable for her small frame. “Who in their right mind would want to marry the future Sir Catra, the failure of the Horde?”
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 136





	1. show me where my armor ends

_Adora wraps Catra’s hands like she always does after a long day of sword training._

_Her best friend’s refusal to use proper fighting techniques usually resulting in having her fingers covered in unwanted blisters._

_But today Adora was wrapping them for an entirely different reason._

_Earlier Lonnie and Catra had engaged in their usual pointless bickering at the end of their lessons, but today Lonnie said something that had taken it way too far_

_Adora was about to tell her to shut up, but it was too late. Catra had already pounced, her fist cracking against the tip of Lonnie’s jaw, splitting the skin of her knuckles from the force of it._

_“Don’t listen to what Lonnie says.” Adora tries to console her, tightening the bandages around Catra’s hand quickly and efficiently._ _“You know she’ll just repeat whatever comes out of Shadow Weaver’s mouth to get to you.”_

_Catra grumbles, snatching her hand back as soon as Adora finishes._

_Something always aches in Adora’s chest at seeing her best friend so upset. But she keeps quiet, knowing that Catra wouldn’t appreciate treating her like she was weak._

_“But she’s right.” Catra hisses, too lethal and too miserable for her small frame. “Who in their right mind would want to marry the future Sir Catra, the failure of the Horde?”_

_The memory of any response Adora might have given is muffled. The memory becomes fuzzier and fuzzier until it becomes almost unrecognizable in her mind._

_And with that, Adora knows that she is close to returning to consciousness when the memory disappears altogether._

________

Adora swings the Sword of Protection across another practice dummy, desperate to be rid of the unsettling feeling that sat in the pit of her stomach.

She practically ran from her tent as soon as she woke, only grabbing a bag of essentials and her sword. All in hopes that the cool morning air and some exercise at her personal training ground just outside of camp would ease the haunting memories of her past. 

But being alone like this just made her miss Catra more. 

Adora shakes her head at the thought, knowing that she didn’t have time to be indulging in them. 

She and Catra had chosen their sides. They had been fighting against each other for years now. Each battle became more violent and bloody than the last. They had each lost so many of their fellow knights at each other’s hands. 

And yet Adora couldn’t shake the feeling that when she woke this morning, it had something to do with her former best friend. 

Adora heaves out a sigh, exhausted from her hours of practice. She sets down her sword on a nearby stump as she changes into a new set of clothes and her old Horde jacket. 

Normally she would be in her tent right now, ready to be greeted by Bow and Glimer to start their day's adventures. 

But something in her gut told Adora that today wasn’t going to be like all of their regular days. 

And that’s when the shouting starts. 

Adora whips her head back towards camp at the sound. She wouldn’t put it past a beast from the Whispering Woods to have accidentally wandered into camp, causing it to descend into chaos. Especially since it’s happened numerous times before. 

But that’s when Bow stumbles from the woods and into her line of sight, practically screaming her name. 

“Adora! It’s the Horde!” Bow doubles over gasping, like he sprinted the entire way here. 

“They’re approaching the edge of camp!” 

Bow hasn’t even finished speaking yet when Adora grabs her sword and sprints towards the edge of their camp. 

And every step along the way there, Adora silently hates that the unsettling feeling in her gut was right. 

________

_Adora hasn’t seen Catra in over a month, but that was enough for everything to change between them._

_There is a rift between them now. Both literally and figuratively as Adora stares Catra down from across a clear field. Their own armies were placed on opposing sides, armed and ready to fight._

_Adora grips the Sword of Protection tighter, feeling the weight of the entire Rebellion’s future in her hands._

_Even though She-ra could masterfully handle the weight of all these responsibilities, Adora felt herself crushing under the pressure._

_But she shoves that particular emotion into the corner of her mind to address later, or if Adora was lucky, hopefully never. The Rebellion’s knights were waiting for her to take charge and address the army they were poised to fight._

_“Catra.” Adora commands, but it sounds more like a plea to her ears. “You are trespassing in the Kingdom of Bright Moon’s territory. Take your army and go back home. We don’t want to fight you.”_

_Catra tilts her chin haughtily at her, as if she now sees Adora as someone beneath her._

_“That’s Sir Catra to you, traitor.” Catra hisses back, drawing her sword from its sheath before she calls the order for her knights to charge._

_Catra might as well have backhanded Adora in front of her entire army, it probably would have hurt less._

_They had never used their proper titles with each other. They were always too close for that. Even raised in a place where any form of intimacy was frowned upon, Catra had always reserved this particular bit of affection for Adora alone._

_Because despite what the world around them said, they were never Catra and Adora, Knights of the Horde in training._

_To each other, they were always just Catra and Adora._

_But Adora swallows the pain of those memories down.They’re not children anymore.They’re knights.They’re leaders in their respective armies.They were fighting against each other in an all out war._

_But for some reason, some naive part of Adora could never admit that they were enemies now._

_Adora raises her blade to defend against Catra’s own deadly strikes and knows that it will only be the first of many battles between them._

________

In her haste to get to the edge of camp, Adora doesn’t even realize when she managed to transform into She-ra. She didn’t even notice until her strides became longer and the effort of sprinting became less taxing on her body. 

Her body pushes her hard enough that even Bow starts to trail behind her, struggling to keep the brutal running pace that She-ra’s speed has set. 

“Do you know how many of them there are?” Adora calls out to him, but still refuses to slow down. 

“It looks like half of the entire Horde’s army!” Bow shouts back and Adora blanches at the statement. 

Neither Catra or Lord Prime would ever dream of sending that many of their Knights for a single battle. It was too risky and not like any of their former battle plans before. 

So what in the world was happening here? 

Glimmer is already on the scene when Adora arrives, shouting orders to the surrounding knights that have already reported for duty. 

It doesn’t look like she’s preparing them for battle though. It looks like she’s gathering up any and every medical supplies that the Rebellion possessed. 

“What is the Horde doing here?” Adora asks loudly as she skids to a stop beside her best friend. “And why aren’t we preparing for battle?” 

Glimmer's face seems to scrunch up in worry at her questions. Adora also doesn’t miss the way that Glimmer’s hands seemed to tremble around the pair of binoculars she was holding. 

“I don’t know, but they look _bad_.” Glimmer informs her, sounding as confused as Adora felt.

“It looks like they’re carrying some injured, but none of them have even drawn their weapons yet either.”

Glimmer hands over the binoculars for her to see and Adora finds that she was right. The knights that were approaching did look horrible. 

They all looked like they had just come from battle, even though Adora knows that the Rebellion hadn’t been informed of one taking place. 

Focusing harder through the pair of binoculars, Adora can just make out the faces of those in the front of the crowd and the ones placed on stretchers- 

Adora drops the binoculars and runs, completely ignoring Bow and Glimmer’s screams for her to come back. 

She runs past the defense of camp and straight towards the swarm of Horde knights, feeling more vulnerable than she ever did in her entire life, even in She-ra’s form.

But something in Adora’s mind drives her not to care. There is something demanding her feet to move faster, to get there quicker. And if anyone dares to get in her way, she’ll fight them all barehanded if she has to. 

Because even with her signature mane of uncombed hair practically sheared off, Adora would be able to recognize Catra anywhere.

And from what she saw through the binoculars, her former best friend wasn’t looking too good. 

Adora ignores the surprised whispers of her own name as she drops to her knees besides the stretcher where Catra was. 

Adora’s body trembles in horror as she looks down at Catra, stripped of the Horde’s heavy armor, giving Adora free reign to assess the wounds covering her body. 

Catra was too pale. Too still for Adora’s liking and that wasn’t even the half of it. Adora's stomach dangerously comes close to emptying its contents as she sees the heavily blood soaked bandages covering Catra’s chest. 

But worst of all, the absence of a steady rise and fall of her chest meant Catra wasn’t breathing. 

“I’m so sorry, Sir Adora.” Someone murmurs beside her and Adora could not give a damn about who it is. “She passed from her injuries just moments before we arrived.”

Glimmer and Bow have finally caught up with her, but Adora is too busy struggling to contain the something righteous that begins to flow through her body. She-ra’s magic is practically begging for her to burst free, even when Adora has already transformed. 

The magic inside of her also feels lost, scared and untethered. Reflecting everything that Adora is feeling as she struggles to keep herself together. 

But even with all of that raging inside of her, Adora is gentle when she pulls Catra to rest her head in her lap. Even if some part of Adora crumbles inside when she realizes that Catra can’t feel anything anymore, she doesn't care. 

If this is the last chance that Adora gets to hold Catra like this, then she swears that she’ll treat her with the gentleness that Catra has always deserved. 

Even amongst the tidal wave of emotions and magic building up, something inside Adora remains unshakably calm. She can only compare it to the eye of a storm, remaining steady and focused even as destruction reigns around it. 

She focuses on that single feeling for a moment longer as she moves her hand to brush a stray lock from Catra’s face. 

She can do this. She can save her. 

“Come on, Catra.” Adora quietly begs, hoping the words can reach her, wherever she may be. “You’re not done. Not yet.” 

It’s all Adora has time to say before the magic frees itself from Adora’s tumultuous hold, surrounding her and Catra in a blinding golden light. 

The golden light seems to be taking something from her. Her energy? Her strength? Her life? Adora doesn’t know and she doesn’t care. 

If any of those things can save Catra, Adora will readily give it all if it away. 

Adora’s vision swims when the last of She-ra’s overwhelming magic leaves her, finding herself back in her regular body. Someone beside her cries out as Adora feels her body sway before she rights herself at the last second. 

Adora grits her teeth in defiance, tamping down her body’s rising demand for her to rest. But no matter what, Adora wasn’t going to succumb to it. _Not yet._ Not until she was sure Catra was ok. 

Adora wearily looks down at her lap, fully expecting to see the rise and fall of Catra’s chest. 

_But it’s not there_. 

Catra remains as still and as peaceful looking as she had been moments before She-ra’s magic broke free. It meant that she was still from this world. 

Something inside of Adora irreparably _shatters_. 

Adora sucks in a rattling breath, desperately wishing that Catra would do the same. Holding herself together for a moment feels like a Herculean effort, but Adora tries her best not to fall into panic when she feels the world start to dangerously slip away from view. 

Because this wasn’t happening. Adora couldn’t have failed. She couldn’t have failed Catra _again_. 

A ragged and small cough against her body is the only thing that stops Adora from spiraling further. 

Catra sucks in a harsh breath before she coughs again. Then, she watches as Catra takes another and another _and another_ until Adora’s world once again finds its focus.

Adora stares at Catra in disbelief until she finally settles. She shifts her head slightly towards Adora, facing her abdomen and looking undeniably at peace. 

Adora wants to cry as Catra finally manages to crack her eyes open, only for them to widen before Catra starts to laugh softly. 

Adora knows immediately what she’s looking at.

In Catra’s direct line of sight, a rebellion pin with Adora’s name etched on it shines as brightly as it always does. 

Almost lazily, Catra flicks her eyes upward before nuzzling closer into Adora’s abdomen. A clear sign to Adora that Catra knows she’s safe. 

“Hey, Adora.” Catra breathes out quietly, sounding like she was coming home after a long day, making Adora outright sob in relief. 

Those words alone were proof enough that Catra was alive and well and Adora basked in the comfort of them. 

And nothing else really seemed to matter to Adora upon hearing them. 

Their years apart be damned. The fighting. The betrayal. The scars. Adora damns it all. 

Even with a magical powers and a sword that legends say was fated for her, Adora has never felt more whole in her entire life than when she hears these words from Catra. 

With shaking limbs, she gently lifts Catra and presses her closer. So close that Adora is unsure whose heartbeat she can hear thumping loudly in her ears. A fresh set of tears spring from Adora’s eyes when she feels Catra wrap her arms around her in return, holding on just as tightly. 

Murmurs of concern start to rise from the knights of both the Rebellion and the Horde, but she ignores them all. Adora’s entire world falling away to just her, Catra and a pin holding the weight of Adora’s choices nestled between them. 

And for the first time since they parted ways, Adora feels the rift that had formed between them could finally be bridged. 

Feeling like she could no longer fight against her struggling eyelids, Adora holds Catra tighter in her arms with the knowledge she would be safest there. With one last check to reassure that Catra was breathing steadily against her, Adora slumps forward, exhaustion finally taking over. 

________

_Adora has every right to be nervous as she kneels before Queen Angella in Bright Moon’s throne room._

_It has only been a month since she joined the Rebellion. A month since she had stumbled into Bow and Glimmer in the depths of the Whispering Woods, found the Sword of Protection and became She-Ra. A month since she was destined to be knighted in the service of the Horde along with Catra_

_It has only been a month since everything had completely changed. But that’s not what Adora is so nervous about right now._

_Adora tries to keep her flight or fight responses in check when she realizes she and the Queen are the only ones in the throne room._

_It’s all Adora can think about when she feels the tip of a sword move from one of her shoulders to another. The Queen of Brightmoon seeming none the wise to Adora’s worries as she murmurs her kingdom’s vows of knighthood to her._

_Despite the nervousness, most of all Adora just feels insulted. If the Queen has plans to murder her while they were all alone, then Adora would at least like to have been granted the honor of defending herself._

_The look of fear must be written all over Adora’s face, because the Queen’s features begin to soften._

_“Rise, Sir Adora of Brightmoon.” Queen Angella gently commands, lifting the blade off of Adora’s shoulders._

_“And please do not be alarmed at the privacy. It is only so that I can personally honor every Knight who swears their life to the Rebellion and to my Kingdom.”_

_Adora breathes a sigh of relief as the Queen holds the sword of Protection in one hand and begins to reach into the pockets of her robe with the other._

_Adora knows that she shouldn’t have been worried, but she couldn’t help herself. The kindness, respect and gentleness are all so new to her._

_Before Adora has even risen from her knees, she is pinned under the weight of a stare that was once unbeknownst to her. Those in the Horde would call it a look of weakness. But after defecting and spending time amongst the people of Brightmoon, Adora knows better now._

_It is a look of compassion and pride. The look of a ruler who truly cares for her people._

_From her robe, Queen Angella produced a small pin. The wings of the Rebellion,_ _Adora thinks, a symbol she knows well. It had been hammered into her head since the Horde began her training. The symbol was an easy identifier that marked the Horde’s enemy._

_It was the symbol that represented everything that she was supposed to fight against when she underwent her training in the Horde._

_And now-_

_“It is a Queen’s duty to know who fights for her and who she in turn, fights for.” Queen Angella cradles the pin as it was a precious object she crafted herself._

_“I will give my last breath for this kingdom if you swear to do the same. Will you accept this symbol on the behalf of the rebellion and with it, fight alongside me?”_

_“Yes, your majesty.”_

_And now Adora finally rises to accept the pin in her outstretched hands, to stand against everything that she had ever known, and to fight for the Rebellion instead._

_“To be frank, there is a long history in the Rebellion that symbolizes the importance of this pin.” Queen Angella sighs, raising a hand to her temple as if to prevent an oncoming headache._

_“But Glimmer insisted that they were filled with unnecessary words that bored her when I first presented this pin to her.”_

_Adora laughs lightly at the mention of Glimmer and the idea of her telling that to the Queen as she was made Commander of the Rebellion._

_“But at the end of the day, my daughter and I wholeheartedly seem to agree,” Queen Angella tells her carefully, as if entrusting Adora with something important, “that it means that you are free.”_

_Adora turns the pin gently in her hands, her own name elegantly etched into it. She never thought that looking at the wings of the Rebellion would bring her such pride and joy._

_Adora closes her hands round it lightly, swearing to take care of it. Besides the sword, it’s the first thing that Adora has ever officially called her own._

_She looks up from it to meet the Queen’s gaze of pride with a small smile. Adora’s eyes flit down momentarily to the Queen’s own personal pin, only to find a name that Adora didn’t know was etched into it._

_Curiosity, as always, gets the better of Adora. Before she knows it, her mouth is opening to speak the words that pop into her mind._

_“So what does it mean,” Adora asks, eyes still fixated on the unfamiliar name. “When you wear someone else’s rebellion pin?”_

_Queen Angella blinks once, twice and Adora thinks that she’s crossed the line before the Queen begins to laugh, completely dumbfounding Adora._

_The Queen is still laughing as she lowers herself to sit on the steps leading to her throne, tucking in her wings in and patting the space beside her for Adora to follow._

_“Let me tell you of the tale of a young sorcerer,” Queen Angella murmurs fondly as she lifts her hand to stroke the wings of her pin. “And how he had spilled an entire shop’s worth of potions when he had met a young Queen for the first time.”_

_And so Adora sits for hours on grand marble steps as the Queen tells her of the vows she had made and of a love she had found and lost._

_And it worries Adora, that as the Queen speaks, that only one face intimately comes to her mind._

________

Adora struggles to wipe the grime away from her Rebellion pin as she sits at the edge of her cot, exhaustion still taking its toll on her body. 

Even days after half of the entire Horde army’s arrival, the weariness in Adora’s bones refuses to dissipate. It makes Adora feel like a husk of her regular self, wishing that her body would just go back to normal already. 

Adora wipes the cloth against her pin slightly harder in frustration, because healing others through She-ra had never taken this much from her before. But she supposes that it was only right that it did, because Adora had never brought someone back to life before.

She doesn’t want to even think of what would have become of Catra if she hadn’t made her way to Adora. 

Speaking of Catra, Adora _really_ needed to get back to the medical tent to stand guard over her. She wanted to be there the second that Catra woke up to reassure her and offer anything she may need.

The only reason Adora had even left in the first place was because Glimmer, who was pacing the length of Adora’s personal tent, dragged her away so that Adora could change her clothes and freshen up. 

“What was Sir Catra thinking? Bringing knights of the Horde here?” Glimmer questions loudly enough to shake Adora from her thoughts. 

“She was dead, Glimmer.” Adora sighs tiredly and it’s enough for Glimmer to pause in her tirade to at least look slightly guilty. “I don’t really think she was planning anything against us.” 

Glimmer closes her eyes at her words, seemingly in thought, but Adora knows better. 

She knows the of war that wages inside of Glimmer that demands her not to trust Catra. Especially after everything she has done. 

Adora doesn’t blame her. She truly doesn’t. 

She just doesn’t know what she’ll do if Glimmer decides that she’ll turn Catra and the Horde knights away. 

“So you don’t think this is a trap then?” Adora hears a distinct wobble in Glimmer’s voice and prepares herself for the inevitability of her next question. “Like what happened with my Mom?” 

Adora winces, clutching her pin tightly in her hand before she folds in on herself. The sting of Queen Angella’s loss was always present, no matter how much time had passed.

What hurts the most was that Catra had led the attack that had ultimately killed the Queen while the Rebellion’s forces were locked in another battle. 

And then there was Glimmer, left with the knowledge that she went against the Queen’s request to have some forces remain to defend Brightmoon in order to gain the upper hand on the Horde. 

Adora knows that Glimmer has never forgiven herself since. 

Adora would feel a bit better about all of this if she knew what half of the Horde’s army was doing here. But all of them remained silent, even though every single one of them stopped by the medical tent to be individually interrogated by Adora. Some looked lost and others angry, but no matter how much the rebellion pried, no one would talk. 

Luckily Sir Scorpia, whom Adora recognized from their countless meetings on the battlefield, was the sole voice in the crowd that actually gave Adora _some_ answers. 

“Wildcat made us swear not to tell, Sir Adora.” Sir Scorpia had murmured when she had sat down beside Catra’s bedside to talk to her. 

Initially Adora was frustrated at the continued lack of answers, hugging herself tighter to hold everything together. But someone as kind as Sir Scorpia was a person that was very hard to stay angry at. 

But Adora gets it really. She knew where the silence from everyone was coming from. She knows that knights are bound by oath and duty to the people that they served. 

If they had really abandoned Lord Prime to come here, then Adora understood their internal struggle to keep any remaining promises that they could. 

“It was the last thing she asked of us before-,” Sir Scorpia broke off suddenly and Adora followed her gaze to find the reassuring rise and fall of Catra’s chest. 

Adora understood Sir Scorpia’s need to double check. The need to know that Catra had continued to breathe even if they only looked away from her for a second.

Adora knew that feeling better than anyone. 

Over the past few days Adora spent hour after hour just listening to Catra take one deep breath that was immediately followed by another. 

It was truly the only thing keeping Adora calm in this mess. 

“Just know that we’re not with the Horde anymore,” Sir Scorpia continued when she had her fill,“and that we have no plans of returning.” 

The confession was a start, but it still wasn’t enough to quell Adora’s worries. 

“ _Hey_.” Glimmer puts a hand on her shoulder and it’s only then that Adora realizes that she had zoned out. “We can talk about this later. You should lie down and get some sleep.” 

“M’not gonna sleep here.” Adora argues, ignoring that her words were definitely slurred. “Gotta go check on Catra.” 

Glimmer heaved a sigh and before Adora knew it everything had changed around her. The familiar smell of antiseptic permeates the air lets Adora immediately know that she’s back in the Medical tent. 

“Thanks Glimmer,” Adora mumbles, legs seeming to stumble under her own weight. 

“ _Rest_.” Glimmer commands, forcing Adora down into the cot next to Catra. “That’s an order.”

Glimmer tucks her under the covers and disappears in the blink of an eye when she deems Adora completely settled in. 

But Adora, restless as always, counts to three in her head before she drags herself out of the low-lying cot. 

Adora seats herself in the chair by Catra that she had been practically glued to for the past few days, only because she convinced everyone that it was the best way to stay off her feet while constantly monitoring Catra’s vitals. 

The white robe the Rebellion had changed her into hides the majority of Catra’s injuries, including the once fatal stab wound that was located near Catra’s heart. 

But it still does nothing to erase the memory of Catra’s blood soaked chest and the stillness of her body. 

Adora thinks that no matter how much time passes, those few minutes when Catra was gone will forever haunt her. 

Even though Adora had run her eyes over the mostly healed wounds countless times, The Rebellion medics still had to assure her that Catra would make a full recovery. 

While Adora blames herself for not being able to heal Catra fully herself, she could not suppress her unsaid joy that Catra will have a chance to live a new life away from the Horde. 

Content with the knowledge that her former best friend was finally safe, Adora focuses on the steady rise and fall of Catra’s chest and lets it lull her to sleep. 

_______

Adora wakes to a groan of pain and immediately knows that it’s not coming from her.

She blinks her eyes open to stare up at the ceiling of the tent, knowing that she definitely wasn’t lying on her cot when she had initially fallen asleep. 

Someone, most likely Bow, must have moved her and tucked her in.

Adora hadn’t even stirred to protest. 

Adora might even go as far to say that she feels fully rested. The weariness that persisted in her bones seemingly all but gone.

It makes her wonder how long she had been asleep for, but another groan of pain is enough to distract her from those thoughts. 

“Holy fuck,” Catra croaks, voice sounding even raspier after days of disuse. “Getting stabbed _sucks_.” 

Unrestrained joy sweeps through the expanse of Adora’s chest, threatening to overwhelm her. She closes her eyes against the feeling, trying to get it under control before it slips out in the form of tears. 

_Catra was awake. Catra was alive. Catra was ok._

But Adora’s mouth had always moved far faster than her mind, so she’s barely even surprised when the words that come out of her mouth are unfiltered and not what she means to say at all. 

“It could be worse.” Adora says out loud smiles widely as Catra whips her head towards her in surprise.“You could have _two_ stab wounds.” 

Catra shuts her eyes and groans again, as if Adora’s words brought her more physical pain than her actual wound. 

“Has anyone ever told you that your bedside manner sucks?” 

Adora laughs softly as she sits up, dragging her body from the comfort of the cot to look over at Catra smugly. 

“Only you have actually. Back when we were children in the Horde and I had to convince you that your hand was _not_ bleeding, even when you insisted it was.”

Catra snorts loudly, as if remembering every time she had actually said those words to her. 

It makes Adora’s heart start to have hope. If she and Catra could still joke like how they used to back in the Horde, then Adora is convinced that everything would turn out alright. 

“So it looks like I’m not dead and you seem to be the reason for that,” Catra deadpans, raising a hand to run through her short locks before her voice turns mocking. 

Adora promptly begins to flash Catra a proud smile- 

“So tell me good sir,” Catra continues, her voice taking a familiar mocking turn, “how can I ever repay you?” 

-only to immediately drop it at the change in Catra’s tone.

“You can tell me how you got stabbed.” Adora suggests, cutting straight to the point instead of playing along with Catra’s game. “And why half of the Horde’s entire army was with you when you knocked on death’s door.” 

“ _Excuse you_ ,” Catra bites back, sounding like Adora had personally insulted her. “I did not knock on death’s door, I kicked it down and told it to fuck off.” 

“Catra, please be serious.” Adora sighs, turning to swing her legs over the edge of the cot. “I’m really worried ok? You almost _died_.” 

Adora should have expected this. _This resistance._ Catra had never made things easier on her, even if both of their lives depended on it. 

“And as we can both see that I am alive and kicking now,” Catra grunts, following Adora’s motions and sitting up in her own cot. 

“So if you’ll excuse me. I’ll be on my way.” 

Adora blinks at her, mind trying to process the words Catra had just said. Catra had to be joking. She was finally with Adora again and now she wanted to leave? 

Adora couldn’t believe her. 

“Are you serious right now?” Adora asks incredulously when she gathers her wits again, gesturing wildly to Catra’s chest. “Are you forgetting that you have a _stab wound_?” 

“Hard to forget the thing that almost killed me, Sir Adora.” 

It shouldn’t strike a devastating blow to Adora’s chest. Not after years of hearing her title slip from Catra’s lips in the form of hisses and insults. 

But it still does. 

Because Adora knows that some part of her had hoped that after she saved Catra, things would go back to normal between the two of them. 

“Back to the titles again, Catra?” Adora struggles to keep the desperation out of her voice. Catra doesn’t even seem to react to Adora's intimate use of her name again. 

It just makes Adora feel even worse. 

“I thought we moved past this? I thought that by coming to the Rebellion, things would be different between us. ” 

But it seems like none of Adora’s words will get through to her. Because Catra just crosses her arms and glares harder. 

“Don’t get it twisted. It’s still Sir Catra to you, _Sir_ _Adora_.” 

“Catra.” Adora whispers quietly, but Catra doesn’t relent. 

This couldn’t be happening. Not again. 

Because when has anything ever worked out the way Adora had wanted it to go? 

“Did you think that I came to the Rebellion by choice?” Catra hisses, fur beginning to stand on end.

Some part of Adora wants to reach out and stroke it. To calm Catra enough to assure her that everything would be alright. 

Adora’s hand stays glued to her side. 

“I was dead, Sir Adora.I didn’t ask my knights to bring me here. I didn’t ask them to bring me to you. It all happened by chance.”

“But,” Adora tries again. Some part of her still refused to give up, no matter what Catra was saying. “I thought-“ 

“Whatever you thought was wrong.” Catra mutters harshly and Adora watches helplessly as Catra lays back down in bed. Making a show of turning to face away from Adora. A clear indication that she was done with their conversation.

“Just get out of here and leave me alone.” 

Despair takes hold in Adora’s heart, seeing Catra’s back turned towards her once again. It’s an ugly thing, to have it replace the hope that Adora had been holding onto these past few days. 

But Adora takes these emotions and lets it fuel her, because she refuses to let herself go through this agonizing feeling all over again. 

“I’m such an idiot. I thought that things would be different between us when you woke up.” Adora whispers harshly, balling her firsts to keep her emotions in check. 

Catra doesn't even flinch at her words, nor does she make any move to face Adora as she continues to speak. 

“But it’s clear to me now, that even after all these years, you just don’t want to change.” 

Catra remains quiet, still intent on closing herself off. But there is only so much of her silence that Adora can take. 

Before she even knows it, she stands to slide on her boots and exits the medical tent. Where the only things around to bear witness to the fresh tears on her cheek are the rising sun and the cool morning air. 

_________

_“You can come with me,” Adora pleads, struggling to stand in the burning ruins of Thaymor. “You don’t have to let them treat you like this anymore. We can fix this.”_

_Adora reaches out her hand in truce, hoping to get through to her best friend._

_Catra smacks her hand away._

_“Are you serious right now?” Catra seethes, eyes glinting as dangerously as her sword and her suit of armor. “You barely even know these people and you’re giving everything up for them?”_

_“Catra no-“ Adora stammers, desperate for her to understand. “That’s not what I-“_

_“Save it, Adora.” Catra hisses, turning from her. Turning away from their friendship._

_“I don’t want to hear it_.”

_________

Catra drives Adora crazy in every sense of the word, but this time she definitely feels like she’s been pushed over the edge.

Adora spends her day running herself into the ground in frustration before Bow and Glimmer intervene just before the sun sets. They drag her all the way to their shared tent to try and get her to relax, but Adora knows that nothing can stop her once she’s on a roll. 

“Can you believe her? We’re saving her and her knight’s lives by taking them in! Then she goes on and ignores me like a stubborn brat!” Adora huffs, intent on running a hole into the ground with her pacing. 

Glimmer and Bow seem intent on sifting through a pile of important documents while they listen. But Adora doesn’t mind the lack of response, she just needs to throw all of these negative feelings out of her. 

“And then she has the nerve to think she can walk away from all of this when she has a _stab_ _wound_? Is she crazy?” 

“It’s to be expected, Adora,” Glimmer says as Adora pauses to steady her breathing. “I mean, it is Sir Catra after all.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Adora demands, whirling to face her unnervingly calm best friends. 

“It means we know how Sir Catra acts, Adora,” Bow adds, agreeing with Glimmer. “You’ve mentioned before that she closes herself off when she’s obviously hiding something.” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Adora questions, feeling confused. “I’ve never said anything about how Catra acts when she’s being unreasonable.” 

Her two best friends share a look that Adora can’t seem to decipher, but she knows it can’t be anything good. 

“Adora,” Glimmer starts gently and Adora immediately knows that she’s not going to like what she’s about to hear. “You talk about Sir Catra literally all the time.” 

‘No, I _don’t_.” Adora’s hands find her hips, feeling defensive. 

“Is that so?” Adora can _hear_ the smugness dripping from Glimmer’s voice. “So then why do Bow and I know what her favorite color is?” 

“That’s-,” Adora interrupts, feeling her face heat up in embarrassment. “I may have said it once or twice.” 

“Oh!” Bow pipes up excitedly, raising his hand to answer. “And why do we know what color her favorite ration bar is?” 

“And the exact shade of _both_ of her eyes.” 

“ _Anddd_ the way she sounds when she flirts with you.” 

“What?” Adora splutters, dumbfounded. “Sir Catra does _not_ flirt with me _.”_

“Sure she does.” Bow tells her, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Glimmer, would you like to show her what we’re talking about?” 

“You can do the honors, Bow. Your impression is much better than mine anyway.” 

Adora fights the temptation that calls for her to leave this tent and run for the hills, because no amount of conditioning and training could have ever prepared her for this. 

“ _Hey, Sir Adora.”_ Bow squeaks out in a pale imitation of Catra’s voice. Adora almost wants to correct him and show how Catra _actually_ says it, but she figures that she would just be proving their point if she did. 

“See Adora?” Glimmer crosses her arms in satisfaction but Adora just scowls upon seeing it. “We know Sir Catra well enough to assume that she's acting like this because she’s hiding something from you.” 

“And there has to be a reason for it why she’s hiding it too.” Bow agrees with an easy smile popping up on his face. “She was the Horde’s top knight and commander. She wouldn’t turn against them over nothing.” 

Adora crosses her arms, mulling over their words. They’re right and Adora knows it. After all the years Adora spent begging for her to join the Rebellion, she knows that Catra would never leave them without just reason. 

Before Adora even has time to voice her agreement, the front flap to Glimmer’s tent opens as one of the knights who were supposed to be guarding the camp’s perimeter announces their arrival. 

“Queen Glimmer,” The knight bows in greeting upon entering. “A scroll has just arrived for Sir Adora.”

“From who?” Glimmer asks before Adora can even open her mouth. 

“Lord Prime’s personal messenger just delivered it.” The guard informs them, holding the item up for them to see. “So we can safely assume it could only be from him.” 

Despite the absolute disbelief she feels at her fellow knight's words, Adora can’t help but share a startled look with Glimmer before she’s crossing the room to relieve the letter from them. 

It’s _hefty_. The scroll doesn’t even wrinkle under Adoa’s firm grip, which only shows how expensive the material is. It had to have come from Lord Prime. No one else in the Rebellion or the Horde would have spent so much money on _paper_ other than him. 

Adora doesn’t hesitate to break the wax seal showcasing the Horde’s official insignia, wondering what on Etheria Lord Prime could have possibly wanted from her. 

Adora reads the contents of the scroll aloud once, twice and a third time before she realizes that she is almost tearing the scroll in two from the sheer force of her anger. 

Adora turns on her heel, ignoring Glimmer and Bow’s calls for her, and heads to the one place where she is ready to demand some answers. 

________

Adora isn’t even phased at Catra’s exposed torso as she storms into the medical tent. 

“A coup?” Adora seethes, stopping angrily at the foot of Catra’s bedside. “You staged a coup against the reigning Lord of the Fright Zone? The ruler that commands the Horde’s entire army?” 

“Have you ever heard of privacy?” Catra scoffs, narrowing her eyes as she slips her arms into the sleeves of a robe. 

“ _Sir Catra.”_

Catra lets out a grunt of pure annoyance and that’s all Adora really needs to confirm that what Lorde Prime said in his letter was true.

“Who told you?” Catra mutters darkly, sitting up straighter in her cot. “Let me know their names so that I can personally run them through with my sword when I’m able to.” 

Adora almost wants to roll her eyes by the masterful way that Catra always seemed to deflect her questions. But she was having none of it today. 

“None of your knights told me.” Adora fumes, single-handedly unfolding the scroll to back up her claim. “Lord Prime’s personal messenger delivered a message just moments ago, demanding your head.” 

Catra pointedly turns her gaze away at the sight of it. 

“And I am utterly pissed,” Adora continues, “because you didn’t think to reach out to the Rebelion to help take him down.” 

Catra’s claws slightly tear at the sheets at Adora’s words. But Adora still waits for her to say something, even if her patience is starting to find the end of it’s rope. 

“Did you ever think,” Catra states dryly, despite the fresh claw marks on the bedding, “that I didn’t want the Rebellion to help me stage a coup d’état, Sir Adora?” 

“You know as well as I do that your words don’t make any sense.” Adora counters immediately. “So _explain_.” 

“Do I really have to do all your thinking for you?.” Catra shoots back menacingly. “If you need me to explain what a coup d’état is then-“ 

“Cut the crap.” Adora interrupts even though Catra sends a glare sharp enough to cut when she does. “You’ve known for years that the Rebellion’s main goal was to take down Lord Prime and free Etheria.” 

Adora knows that she’s pacing now, but she doesn’t care. Her pent up anger at this entire situation has taken hold on her heart and refused to let go. 

“And now you’re telling me that you staged a coup against the very person you’ve sworn to serve? And for what reason? Did you have a change of heart?”

But Adora knows the real reason why she’s so angry. The real reason why all of her emotions that have been simmering for years have finally begun to spill over. 

Even if the reason was stupid and childish to everyone but herself.

She was hurt because it means there was always a possibility that Catra could turn away from the Horde, like she recently did. 

But that pain increased tenfold now that Catra was here, because it meant that in the end, Adora begging her wasn’t a good enough reason to leave in the first place. 

“After all the times I extended a hand to you and begged you to come with me! Why now? What changed?” 

Adora’s panting now, her breath coming in huffs from the pure frustration she feels. 

_It hurts her_.This entire situation hurts her. Adora has always wondered what would happen if she let herself be selfish. Because that’s what the words that have come out of her mouth truly are. 

They are selfish. They are childish. They are filled with hurt and pain and so much _regret_. 

But they are the truth. Or at least, these words were _Adora’s_ truth. And Adora cannot deny them any longer. 

And for the first time in years, Adora has finally admitted them out loud. 

But now she all she truly wants to know is what could have possibly convinced Catra to do this. If her friendship with Adora wasn’t enough to turn against the Horde, then what was? 

Catra’s eyes flash dangerously in Adora’s direction before she drops them suddenly back down to her clenched fists on her lap. 

_That’s new_. Catra had never given up a fight before it started before. She usually insisted on fighting Adora tooth and nail until one of them gets their way. 

So Adora finds that she can excuse herself when her jaw almost pops open at seeing Catra’s shoulders drop, a clear sign that she was giving in. 

And finally for the first time in _days_ , Adora feels like she’s going to get her answers. 

“Scorpia overheard something a few weeks ago,” Catra murmurs quietly and Adora almost has to strain herself to hear. “Something that Shadow Weaver and Lorde Prime were planning after our most recently failed battle.” 

Adora waits and listens, not wanting to stop Catra when she was finally willing to tell Adora what she needed to hear. 

“Scorpia overheard Shadow Weaver boasting about She-ra’s weakness,” Catra hesitantly admits, “and that going after it would be the best way to take you and the Rebellion down once and for all.” 

Adora wouldn’t have put it past Shadow Weaver to say something like that in order to gain more power and favor with Lord Prime.

There was really only one problem with that proposal though. 

“But how could she know?” Adora couldn’t stop herself from asking, trying to wrap her head around the whole thing. “She-ra doesn’t have any weaknesses.” 

It’s a valid question, but Adora doesn’t know why Catra stills at it. If Shadow Weaver really did have a plan to take down She-ra and the Rebellion, wouldn’t Catra be happy about it? 

But that doesn’t seem to be the case at all. Because Catra looks like she would rather be anywhere on else Etheria than admit what came out of her mouth next. 

“Shadow Weaver seemed to imply that the quickest way to take you down,” Catra tells her tiredly, “was by making an example of me first.” 

“ _Oh_.” 

Adora doesn’t even have to scratch the surface of her heart to know that Shadow Weaver wasn’t wrong.

She can’t even begin to imagine what she would have done if she heard that Catra had been taken captive. 

“I had to act fast, they were going to round up those they deemed as failures and kill us to provoke you and the Rebellion.” Catra tells her quickly and Adora struggles to keep up, still stunned by Catra’s confession. 

“And if their plan had worked, Prime would have lured you to his castle so that he could kill you himself.” 

Adora closes her eyes, trying to calm herself and listen. But this was too much. It felt like an information overload on her brain. She almost wants to ask Catra to stop. 

But she doesn’t, knowing that she was the one who demanded to know in the first place. 

“Scorpia and I managed to get the word out before Lord Prime had a chance to approve of Shadow Weaver’s plans. It turns out that if you don’t treat your knights well, they’ll turn mutinous in about a second.” Catra laughs humorlessly and it sends an uncomfortable shiver down Adora’s spine. 

It lets Adora know that the worst part of her tale has yet to come. 

“I ran my sword through Shadow Weaver first,” Catra doesn’t even flinch at her own words. It lets Adora immediately know that they were never bringing her up again after this conversation. 

“And then I went to face Lorde Prime.” 

Catra’s fists shake as she recalls the memory and Adora reaches out to place a hand over. Only removing it when she hears Catra take a breath and feels the shaking cease. 

“He wasn’t even fully armored, but that bastard still managed to get the best of me. He also managed to have a little fun,” Catra scoffs, running her hands through her short mane, “before both of our reinforcements arrived and he got away.”

Adora fights down a growl at the thought of Lord Prime touching Catra _without_ her permission. She keeps that little information tucked away in the corners of her mind, knowing that she’ll pay him back tenfold the next time she sees him. 

“I didn’t want him to escape, but I didn’t want to give him what he wanted either. If I died then and there, he won. And I couldn’t let him because he would trap and kill-“ Catra stops, struggling with her words, but Adora hears the words that Catra doesn’t dare to say. 

Catra did all of this _because_ she couldn’t let Lord Prime kill Adora. 

Catra still cared about her enough to risk her life to stop him. 

It’s almost too much for Adora to take. 

“And well, you know the rest I guess.” Catra mumbles, making a sweeping gesture towards her stab wound. 

Adora feels utterly lost. If Lord Prime had his way and captured and killed Catra, Adora would have never known his true plan and she would have walked right into it. 

But even when Catra risked it all to save her, she still ended up dying, while Adora remained completely unscathed. 

It would have felt like a lose/lose situation either way and Adora can’t help but thank the stars above that Catra was still alive and by her side. 

“Shadow Weaver was right.” Adora tells her grimly, seating herself heavily at the edge of the bed. “If I had heard what he had done to you, no one in the Rebellion could have stopped me. I would have walked right into his trap.” 

Adora almost laughs at the quiet “ _duh_ ” that escapes Catra’s lips. But it’s not enough to alivieate the heaviness that starts to press down on Adora’s heart.

“Thank you.” Adora reaches over to place her hand on Catra’s shoulder. “You gave your life for mine. I owe you one. “

Catra brushes her off like it was no big deal, just like she always did. 

But Adora wasn’t going to let her get away so easily this time. 

“You brought me back to life you idiot.” Catra chuckles lightly, her face turning a lovely shade of red. Adora wholeheartedly thinks it’s because she wasn’t expecting any thanks. “So I think we’re even.” 

They weren’t even. Not even close. Catra had lost everything while Adora had gained it all and more. 

Simply because she finally had Catra back in her life again. 

“Even so, you didn’t have to do this. You could have gotten away from it all without putting yourself in harm's way.” Adora tells her quietly, hoping that Catra can hear the weight when she speaks her next words. 

“I’m in your debt, Sir Catra.” 

Adora waits, letting her words soak through Catra. She knows that it does when Catra closes her eyes and nods and it’s only then that Adora moves her gaze away. 

Adora stands as she begins to see Catra’s eyes droop in exhaustion, the story taking too much out of her. Adora regrets storming in and pushing her too far and she’ll have to remember to apologize the next time Catra is aware enough to listen to them.

But Adora, mind no longer clouded with confusion, finally has a clear path now. A path she can finally work with. 

“We won’t give in to Lorde Prime’s demands. You’re safe here in the Rebellion. You can stay with us and be free from the Horde.” 

Catra doesn’t seem too happy over her declaration. In fact, her face seems to immediately crumble as soon as she hears them. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be free from the Horde, no matter where I go.” Catra says tiredly, folding in on herself and facing away from Adora. 

Adora tries not to take it too personally at the thought of being turned away from once again. Especially since Catra was tired and still needed time to heal. 

“Especially since I played a big part in committing their sins.” Catra continues, “I don’t even think I’m even ready to forgive myself for that.” 

Adora’s heart aches at the confession, but she doesn’t have the words that will comfort Catra and help her. Not right now at least. 

And even if she did, she doesn’t think that Catra will be willing to hear them. 

Adora knows that it might be all she was getting from Catra tonight. She turns to head out of the tent with the intent on letting Catra rest, but a quiet whisper stops her in her tracks. 

“But I appreciate your words.” Catra murmurs and Adora turns to find her still tucked tightly into her cot’s covers. “And thank you for not giving up on me.” 

Adora stands there, _stunned_. Catra has never thanked her for anything before. Not once in their entire lives. 

Something in Adora’s chest shifts upon hearing them and she knows that nothing would ever be the same again. 

It was like picking up an old, dust covered box of memories that was left alone for years. Adora wipes the surface of it with care, but she can’t bring herself to open it. 

It was as if some part of her consciousnesses was telling that she could hold it gently and care for it, but it just wasn’t time for her to see it. 

Adora doesn’t have a name for this particular emotion, but she finds it odd that just a simple thank you from Catra could invoke it. 

“Of course, Sir Catra.” Adora mumbles, lifting the flap of the tent quickly, hoping the cool night will permeate the heat that seems to radiate from within her chest. 

“Sleep well.” 

Adora must have been standing there longer than she thought, because she only receives a rumbling purr in response. 


	2. Show me where my skin begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If I go with you,” Catra murmurs unsurely before she hesitates. Adora gives their joined hands a gentle squeeze to urge her to continue. “Do you think the Rebellion would ever truly forgive me for what I’ve done?”

_Adora runs through the ashes of the once beautiful town of Erelandia as fast as she can, even though she already knows that it was too late._

_She hears Glimmer give the order to search for survivors, but Adora does not have the heart to tell her that it wouldn’t be necessary. If Lord Prime and Catra were responsible for this, then Adora knows that they would have made sure that there wasn’t anyone left for the Rebellion to save._

_Adora closes her eyes tightly as she runs, but it is not enough to shield her from the wisps of smoke and ash that threatens to choke her very being. She had visited this place countless times ever since she had joined the Rebellion. The people here were once fearful that she had come from the Horde, but had welcomed Adora with open arms when she had sworn their allegiance to them. They ate, drank and lived their lives while they believed that the Rebellion, while they believed that She-ra, would protect them._

_And now all Adora can do to repay them for their kindness and their faith is to search for any survivors in this endless town of ash._

_Her stomach turns as she reminds herself that this is what the Horde had raised her for. To be a knight that would cause this kind of destruction without remorse. Adora couldn’t believe that she was just so blind and stupid enough to believe that she would be bringing order to Etheria in the Horde’s name._

_Because how could anyone ever justify burning down entire towns and killing innocent people as bringing order to the world?_

_She should’ve questioned the Horde’s authority more. She should’ve known that whatever coming out of Shadow Weaver’s mouth were nothing but filth and lies. She should’ve pierced Lorde Prime’s heart with her own sword when she was close to him and had the chance. She should’ve dragged Catra along with her so she didn’t have to partake in this pointless killing spree._

_If Adora had done any of these things, would she have been able to help the Rebellion sooner? Would she have been able to prevent all this senseless bloodshed? Would she even have been able to stop the war for good?_

_The guilt of her own careless and blind choices maim her, even in She-ra’s almost impenetrable armor, and Adora feels herself stagger as she runs._

_She-ra may be an all powerful being, but Adora is not. Underneath the ruse of being the Rebellion’s ace in the hole, Adora is scared, weak and afraid of what she would lose if she continues to fail like this._

_Adora wants to strip her own armor away because it is too heavy. The mantle of being She-ra was sometimes just much for her to handle. She had been told that bearing the name of She-ra was an honor, but Adora finds it to be somewhat of a curse. She joined the Rebellion to be free of the Horde and to save people. But if the war continued and people kept dying, then Adora knows that she will never truly be free from all of these expectations, no matter what Queen Angella once told her when she had bestowed the pin upon Adora._

_Adora stumbles once again and crashes to her knees under all of the pressure to be the Rebellion’s perfect knight and to save Etheria. The Sword of Protection clatters on the ground loudly as it slips from her grip. Sometimes Adora wonders if she was even strong enough to wield it in the first place._

_How much more did she have to endure until all of this finally ended? What else did she have to lose until they turned the tides of the war and emerged victorious?_

_A nagging voice inside her head tells her that if she gives in now then she’ll never have to find out._

_And even though the ashes against her knees have long since cooled, Adora swears that they must still be burning. Because what else could explain the heat of rage and grief and shame running through her body? She didn’t have time to be feeling sorry for herself. People were counting on her. The entire Rebellion and her best friends were counting on her. She did not have time for these unnecessary doubts and fear._

_Adora wipes the shame and dust from her face as she hears the approaching footsteps of her knights. She grabs the Sword of Protection from the ground as she brings herself to stand for them. The Rebellion needed a fearless leader. They needed She-ra. They needed her to be strong invulnerable. They did not need to see the cracks in Adora’s armor that she was desperately trying to cover up._

_“She-ra,” One of the knights called out to her. Adora recognizes them as one of the Rebellion’s newest recruits. They couldn't have been any younger than Adora herself, but their eyes reflected the fear that she was desperately trying to hide from all of them. “Queen Glimmer wanted us to report to you that we haven’t found any survivors yet and to consult you on our next course of action.”_

_Adora looks at each one of their faces in the closely huddled group. Her fellow knights looked lost, tired and anguished amongst the rubble._

_Adora doesn’t even want to know how many of them came from this particular town in the first place. She doesn’t think she can bear the knowledge of knowing that she had failed them in more ways than one._

_“Let’s keep looking.” Adora commands as she moves past them. Many of their eyes widen, as if they didn’t believe the order she was giving. “If there’s a chance that someone managed to survive, we can’t afford to give up on them now.”_

_The knights hesitantly nod their approval as they spread out to continue to sift through the rubble, hoping to be the answer for someone’s cry for help when they find them._

_Adora moves to another burned down building and begins to toss large pieces of wood away in search of anyone. If there is hope somewhere, even in the ruins of a place that was never meant to be a battlefield, Adora promises herself that she will find it._

_Because Adora doesn't know how she, or the Rebellion for that matter, can continue to go on if they don’t._

________

Adora slices her sword through the form of yet another training dummy, because Catra seems intent on driving her _insane_. 

She had hoped that after their talk in the medical tent a few nights, their friendship would go back to normal. But Catra was more distant and snarky than ever. It was like she had a problem with everyone who just simply belonged to the Rebellion. The only person who Catra had shown any tolerance to was Sir Scopria, who did her best to prevent the start of any arguments between the clashing pair. 

Adora knows that it was a bit naive of her to think that everything would go back to the way it used to be after just one conversation, but she couldn’t help but hold onto that hope. 

It still didn’t change the fact that something was definitely bothering Catra, and if she would just tell her what it was, then maybe Adora would actually have the chance to _fix_ it. 

Adora sighs as she wipes the sweat from her brow to prepare for a set of sword lunges. Normally she would have either gone to Bow for advice, since he was the self-proclaimed friendship guy of the group. But Adora left him and Sir Scorpia to watch over Catra after Adora stormed out of the medical tent due to their latest shouting match earlier that evening. 

That left Adora to make her way towards Glimmer’s personal tent, hoping that her other best friend had the time to try and figure out how to fix things between her and the ex-Horde knight. 

It must really not have been Adora’s day, because as she approached the tent, someone seemed to have already requested an audience with the Queen. And it sounded like they were having a conversation that Adora was definitely not supposed to overhear.

“Your Majesty.” A gruff voice spoke up. _General Juliet_ , Adora guessed by the woman’s usual no nonsense tone. “Are you sure that it’s wise to keep Sir Catra here? I think it would be safer for all of us if we give in to Lorde Prime’s demands and send her back to him.” 

Adora froze in her steps. She tried to process the words that had just come. Was she really there to propose to Glimmer that they should send Catra back to Lorde Prime? 

“General Juliet.” Glimmer sighed. She sounded so tired. “We’ve already been over this countless times.” 

Adora’s eyebrows rose at that. Glimmer had never informed her that she had come to a decision about Catra and the knights. But if Adora was being honest with herself, she had been a bit too preoccupied with being at Catra’s bedside for the past week to really have any discussion on the matter. 

“I understand, Your Majesty,” Juliet sounded respectful at least, but she sounded far from being finished with discussing this issue. “I just believe that it would be a slap in the face to your knights if she were to remain her. Especially after all the atrocities she has committed in the Horde’s name.” 

Adora clenched her fists at that. Normally, she would have stormed in there and challenged the general to a duel for speaking ill of Catra. But her feet remained planted to the ground, because Adora knew she would have been in the wrong.

She couldn’t deny the fact that the Rebellion had suffered many losses at the hands of the Horde, particularly when it had been under Catra’s command. It stung to think about, because it was true. The Rebellion and it’s knights had every right to be angry with her for the things she had done. 

Adora thought of how foolish it was for anyone but her to accept Catra into their lives so easily. 

“Have you forgotten Thaymor? Erelandia? The siege on Salineas?”Juliet continued to press when Glimmer had remained silent. “Or do I have to remind you that Sir Catra led the raid on Bright Moon’s castle? Where your mother-“ 

“You don’t need to remind me about my mother, _General.”_ Glimmer snapped immediately at the mention of the former Queen. “I remember exactly what happened.” 

“If you remember all of this, then why is Sir Catra still here, Your Majesty?” 

Adora bit her lip from the terse silence that followed. She waited for the explanation that would either save Catra or would be exasperated enough to damn her. 

At this point, Adora really didn’t know which one would shock her more. 

“Sir Catra betrayed the Horde and Lorde Prime for Adora’s sake.” Glimmer said after a moment of deliberation. “And by doing so, she helped keep Adora out of his clutches and helped the Rebellion survive to fight another day.” Glimmer huffed out a resigned sigh. “I can’t deny her my gratitude for those actions.” 

“Your Majesty-“

“But more importantly, Adora trusts her and vouches for her.” Glimmer’s voice was firm. Every bit as commanding as the regal queen that she was always meant to be. “And I trust Adora. And if that means housing someone who was once my bitter enemy, then so be it.” 

Adora’s heart swelled with pride at Glimmer’s faith in her. As a knight, there was nothing more honorable than to have the trust of the Queen. But more importantly, Adora closed her eyes in gratitude for the faith that her _best friend_ had in her, which was greater than any honor that she could have received as a knight. 

“I’ve already made the mistake of not listening to one of the people that I trust and love the most,” Adora could hear the regret that saturated Glimmer’s voice. “So yes General, I do hear your concerns and I will do my best to ensure our kingdom’s safety while she is here, but I am not going to make the same mistake _twice._ ” 

Adora shakes her head to clear her mind of these thoughts. She had come out to the training grounds to clear her head, but she just ended up getting lost in it. 

With the sun so close to setting, Adora decides that it’s time to pack it up and try her best to soothe things over with Catra again. She unlatches her breast plate and strings it through a rope so that it would be easier to carry. She closes her eyes tightly and wills the Sword or Protection to transform into a band of armor that covers her forearm. A neat trick that she had been practicing, even though Glimmer hinted that it’s what she should have been doing all along. 

She reaches over to the stump where she had carefully placed her jacket and pin. Even in the low light, the pin seems to exude a gentle glow, and like always, it fills her heart with hope. Adora gives it one last shine before she pulls her jacket on and pins it back in it’s rightful place on her belt. 

The walk back to the camp is a little hard to navigate now, since the sun has fully set. (Adora is sure that she’s tripped over a few roots from the surrounding trees.) But as she approaches, her fellow knights call out to her in greeting or wave to bid her a good night. The torches that line the camp’s pathway have been lit and Adora knows that it will soon time for a guard change 

The quiet hush of a new evening blankets the usual boisterous activity of the camp, and Adora almost wishes that every second could be like this. That it could be peaceful and quiet without the worry of war. 

She also cannot help but hope that with Catra and many of the Horde knights who have fled the Fright Zone along with her, that it would all be coming to an end soon. 

Adora is close enough to the medical tent now that she can hear the voices of Bow and Sir Scopria coming from it. But fear seizes Adora’s heart when she can make out what the panicked voices are saying. 

_“She couldn’t have gone far! Someone must have seen her!”_

_“We’re in the middle of the woods! Where would she go?”_

“Hey,” Adora calls in greeting as she opens the flap of the tent. She tries not to wince as twin shrieks pierce her ears. “What’s going on-“

Adora didn’t even have to wait for them to respond, because the answer was immediately obvious. 

Adora drops the armor she was carrying to the floor before she turns around and marches out of the tent, ignoring the calls of her own name from Bow and Sir Scorpia. 

She couldn’t believe that this was happening again. Adora almost wants to turn around to make sure that her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her.

Because the cot where Catra had been laying in for the past week was empty. It’s owner was nowhere to be seen.

________

_Adora all but collapses as soon as the clunky Horde armor is off of her. She feels wrung out and left to dry from being on her feet for the past 24 hours. And the recent tussle she just endured with her captors left a sharp gash running up her arm that was not helping her feel better in the slightest._

_This scouting mission across the Rebellion’s front lines was not going according to Adora’s plans in the slightest. She was supposed to be back at the Horde by now, celebrating with her bunk mates for completing the final test before they all became knights._

_Instead, she decided to pick up a stupid glowing sword in the middle of the Whispering Woods and was consequently captured by two Rebellion fighters._

_Adora could basically hear Catra teasing her for how easy she had gotten caught. Adora just hopes that it won’t be too long until they can see each other again soon._

_“Here, let me.” Bow kneels beside her while he digs in his bow holder for some sort of bandages. Adora wants to scowl at him for even offering, because helping someone in broad daylight was a sure sign of weakness in the Horde._

_But Adora’s will crumbles as soon as Bow pouts. His eyes are so full of concern that Adora huffs out an approval before she can stop herself. Bow smiles at her when she does and it’s enough to make Adora feel bad that she’ll have to eventually betray him when she takes the sword with her back to the Horde._

_Speaking of the sword-_

_Adora lifts her head, where she catches Glimmer’s concerned gaze that was directed towards her before she quickly turns around._

_She’s still holding the sword tightly in her hand for safekeeping and Adora wonders when she’ll get the opportunity to take it from her._

_“I’m gonna go check up ahead, Bow.” Glimmer announces. There’s no trace of her previous concern with the way her voice has hardened. “You keep an eye on the prisoner.”_

_“You got it!”_

_Glimmer turns to spare her one last glare before she teleports away._

_“Sorry about her. She’s just a little,” Bow sends her a nervous look, “on edge when it comes to Horde knights.”_

_Adora shrugs at his apology. She has a little more to worry about on her plate than a moody princess._

_“You should have let us know so we could have stopped to wrap it sooner.” Bow tells her cautiously. He reaches for her arm to wrap the bandages that he produced from his bow holder. “I didn’t realize that one of my arrows grazed you this badly.”_

_Adora would have thrown some kind of retort at him about how she didn’t need his help or concern because they were enemies, but she’s struggling not to flinch away from his touch._

_It’s too careful. Too gentle. It clouds Adora’s senses, because it is just too different from every interaction she has ever had like this. Whenever someone would touch her like this in the Horde, it usually meant more responsibilities on her plate. It meant that she didn’t keep an eye on Catra well enough. Adora shudders involuntarily as she imagines Shadow Weaver cupping her face and murmuring her disapproval, while Catra cries out in pain because of another one of Adora’s mistakes._

_So it’s safe to say that Adora is not used to this.This gentleness without consequence. This gentleness without fear of someone suffering because of her. But now that she’s experienced it, she wants more of it. Her heart seems to crave it. She wants to run back to the Horde and tell Catra that they don’t have to be treated terribly anymore._

_“I didn’t want to tell you about it,” Adora struggles to say. She can feel her own shoulders relaxing at the odd feeling of safety she feels with Bow. “because I didn’t want your pity.”_

_It must not be a common response in the Rebellion, because Bow’s eyes just widened in surprise._

_“It’s not pity, Sir Adora.” Bow tells her, his voice more gentle than the way he wraps her wounds. “It’s just plain, old fashioned kindness.”_

_Adora doesn’t have the heart to tell him that those words meant weakness in the Horde. So she swallows them down and allows him to finish with his work._

_Her mind races as Bow stands and offers her his hand. Adora slowly takes it and can’t help but wonder that if she and Catra had grown up in the Rebellion, would they have been allowed to experience this kind of gentleness all along?_

________

Adora moves as quickly and as silently as she could through the camp. They didn’t have much time. The Rebellion knights would soon be making their scheduled guard change, and Adora didn’t want to think about what would happen to Catra if she was caught wandering off on her own. 

“We’re so sorry, Adora.” Bow tells her as he slightly trails behind her. “We had no idea she was going to disappear like this.” 

“We really are.” Sir Scorpia immediately echoes his apology. Adora doesn’t turn to look at her, because she sounds like she’s on the verge of tears. “We just left her alone for a little bit to get some extra blankets and pillow-“ 

“It’s ok, you guys.” Adora tells them immediately. Even though every single thing about this entire situation was _not_ ok. “She couldn’t have gotten far, especially since she’s still injured.” 

Adora forces her mind to focus for a second to try and think about what Catra would do. Catra must have known that there would be knights guarding every edge of this part of the forest, protecting the Rebellion camp. 

Any reasonable person would expect Catra to head south, towards Bright Moon and the towns surrounding it. It would be so easy for her to blend in and to never be found again. It was the sensible option. The _easy_ one. 

Because even Catra wouldn’t be crazy to take the route to the north, even if it led directly to the Fright Zone. The border between the two kingdoms was lined with knights from the Rebellion and the Horde alike, which would make it almost impossible for anyone to pass through undetected. 

But this was Catra, who excelled at stealth and had superior senses that aided her at night. Adora wouldn’t put it past Catra to be able to slip past every single one of the knights there, completely unnoticed. 

Despite how insane the option sounded, Adora is pretty sure that's exactly what Catra would do. 

“I’m going to check on the northern border that heads into the Fright Zone.” Adora whirls around to announce to the pair. They skid to an abrupt stop at her words. “There’s a good chance that Sir Catra is heading that way to escape.” 

“Adora.” Bow pipes up immediately. He looks horrified that Adora had even suggested that she started looking there. “Even Catra wouldn’t be crazy enough to take that route.” 

“It’s just a hunch, Bow.” Adora tells him, but he doesn’t look reassured in the slightest. “I’m going to need you and Sir Scorpia to get Glimmer. See if she’s available to help you search and check the rest of the woods until you find Sir Catra.” 

Bow lights up at the task, he sends Adora a small salute before he turns to leave. But a fear at the pit of Adora’s stomach bubbles forth and she finds herself calling out to him before he goes. 

“And Bow?” 

“Yeah?” 

Adora clenches her fists tightly. She’s remindedof Juliet’s conversation from earlier and shudders to think of what any of her knights would do if they knew they had a chance to exact their revenge. 

“Make sure it’s _just_ Glimmer who overhears you, ok?” Adora stresses her words and hopes that he gets what she means. _Especially_ since Catra’s safety was at hand. 

But like the amazing friend that he was, Bow had always been good at picking up the words that Adora has always been too afraid to say. 

“You got it!” He motions Scorpia to follow him, before they both make their way to find Glimmer. 

Adora doesn’t spare them a second glance as she heads past safety of campy and into the woods. The moons above Etheria are just bright enough that it illuminates most of the forest, but Adora still knows that she’s at a disadvantage here. 

Adora clenches her teeth together as she breaks into a jog. Why would Catra even think of leaving when things were finally falling into place between them again? And where would she go in the first place? She had already betrayed the Horde. There was absolutely no way that she would be accepted back with open arms.

What on Etheria was Catra thinking? 

Adora was so focused on her thoughts that she almost missed the rustling of bushes up ahead. A hooded figure carrying a sheathed sword and a rucksack. Normally Adora would be worried about someone wandering the whispering woods covered like this, but the unmistakable cat ears that lifted the hood let her know that she’s found the person she’s been searching for. 

“Sir Catra!” Adora calls out to her. Catra turns to look at her in shock, but Adora doesn’t really question why she looks so surprised. She can’t help the relief that fills her body at the sight of Catra not being in harm’s way. “I was so worried! What are you-“

Adora never gets to finish her question, because Catra turns away from her quickly and sprints. Adora stares are her momentarily in horror, not being able to process why Catra was _still_ running away. 

“Sir Catra!” Adora shouts as she demands her body to chase after her. “Hey! Stop!” 

She still doesn’t. Because _of course_ Catra would never make things easy for her. But Catra’s strength and stamina already seem to be flagging, because Adora easily catches up. Without thinking, Adora dives for her legs, intent on pinning Catra down so she can’t escape. 

But in true Adora fashion, her plans never really did turn out like she hoped they would. Because as soon as they both hit the ground, Catra’s elbow jerks back in her attempt to get away and strikes Adora squarely in her left eye. 

Adora sees stars as she stumbles back, clutching her face. The sharp pain of the blow leaves her feeling lost and slightly disoriented. Catra manages to slip away from her as Adora attempts to recover. Adora tries not to loudly curse at the fact that she was wasting precious seconds in pain while Catra could make a run for it. 

But when she hears the unmistakable sound of a sword being drawn, Adora summons every bit of strength she can muster to focus. 

She manages to crack her good eye open to see a blurry image of Catra glaring down at her, panting. The tip of her sword is inches away from Adora’s neck threateningly, but despite the odds not being in her favor, she doesn’t feel afraid.

In fact, something more vicious than fear takes hold of her heart. 

“Hey, Sir Adora.” Catra greets her breathlessly. 

Adora glares back, defiant. Anger bubbles and boils in the depths of her heart as she kneels before Catra. She never thought that she would have to be on the pointed end of Catra’s blade again. 

“Hey, Sir Catra.” Adora mutters lowly. She wants to remain calm, but the anger and betrayal she feels begins to seep into her tone. “Do you mind telling me why you were just gonna _leave_?” 

Catra scoffs at her and Adora sees her hand trembling as she grips the sword. If Adora didn’t know any better, she would be bold enough to say that Catra looks guilty that their paths once again crossed like this. 

“I’m leaving because I don’t belong in the Rebellion, Sir Adora.” Catra tells her quietly. Adora can hear the slight desperation in it though, like Catra was trying to take her own words as truth. “So stop following me. I’m not going back with you.”

Catra steps back and her blade slightly withdraws from where it was just inches away from Adora’s neck. But Adora wasn’t one of the best fighters in the Rebellion for nothing. She seizes the opportunity at Catra’s hesitation and uses it to launch her counterattack. 

Running on pure adrenaline, the Sword of Protection flashes to life from where it was lying in wait, perfectly perched on Adora’s arm. Adora grabs hold of it quickly, swinging it with the intent on knocking Catra’s blade away as she quickly rises to her feet. 

But even injured, Catra has always been her equal. Her feet must have been firmly planted into the ground, because she absorbs the blow with her sword with such ease. It was almost like she fully expected Adora to pull such a move. Their blades meet and clash once again, like old friends meeting after a long time. 

At any other time, Adora thinks that it would almost be funny how alike she and Catra are compared to their blades. 

But with the way that Catra is glaring at her, Adora thinks she would be the only one to appreciate the irony of the moment. 

“What could be so wrong about staying here with me, Sir Catra?” Adora argues as Catra holds her in check. “I thought we could fix things between us!” 

Catra hisses at her as she steps in closer, putting her full weight on her blade. Adora grits her teeth as she tries to hold her back, she doesn’t want to be too forceful and end up hurting Catra. 

“Why can’t you just get that I hate the Rebellion, Sir Adora?” Catra demands. The fury in her voice is almost palpable. “You _left_ me for them!”

Catra manages to push her away and Adora manages to roll away at the sight of Catra’s sword beginning to swing at her when she stumbles. Adora ducks and weaves around Catra’s advances until their blades are forced to meet once again. She unconsciously leans in closer to Catra’s face, desperate for her to understand where she is coming from. 

“Even if you do, you still don’t have to leave, Sir Catra!” Adora cries out. Up close like this, she can hear Catra gasping for breath. She couldn’t keep this up much longer. “I don’t want us to be apart like that ever again!” 

She-ra must feel the desperation of her words, because in a golden flash, she flares to life. In this state, Catra is no match for the sudden appearance of the warrior. So she helplessly watches as she is overpowered and disarmed. Her blade clatters uselessly to the ground a few feet away.

Catra drops to her knees, defenseless and exhausted. But her eyes never leave Adora’s own. They are sharp, angry and glinting in the moonlight. And they seem more capable of piercing Adora’s heart more than any blade ever could. 

“If you didn’t want us to be apart.” Catra spits out dangerously. Adora almost reaches out as Catra winces when she clutches the place where her wound is on her chest. “Then why did you leave in the first place?” 

Adora drops the transformation quickly, knowing of her former friend’s hatred for the warrior. The hate and anger in them disappear almost immediately as she returns to just regular old Adora. 

“I told you so many times that I didn’t have a choice, Sir Catra.” Adora tells her as she steps forward. She is so tired of the distance between them. “When I became She-ra and saw what the Horde was really doing, I knew it was my destiny to-“ 

“No.” Catra interrupts. She shakes her head in disbelief. “There has to be another reason. You always believed you had a destiny to bring order with the Horde and that wasn’t enough to make you stay.” 

Adora is quiet. Regretful. When she was in the Horde, she truly did believe those things. Catra must take her silence as confirmation of her words, because she looks done waiting for Adora to prove her wrong. 

“So what was it? The castle? The fancy armor? Being waited on hand and foot?” Catra lets out a mirthless laugh. It’s a pitiful sound to Adora’s ears. “What did Sparkles and Arrow Boy show you to convince you to betray the Horde?” 

Even though Adora knows that Catra will never say it. The question that she really wants to ask rings loud and clear in Adora’s ears. 

_What did they show you to finally convince you to leave me?_

Adora’s mind unwillingly flashes to the first day she spent away from the Horde. She could almost still feel Bow’s gentle hands as the wrapped her wounds. She couldn’t get Glimmer’s concerned gaze that was directed at her out of her head, even though Adora had plans to betray them and take the sword from them later that day.

And then, she couldn’t deny the hope and tenderness she had seen in Bow and Glimmer’s eyes when Adora had finally taken a stand against the Horde and turned away from everything that she knew. They had crowded her, hugged her and accepted her with open arms, despite Glimmer swearing up and down just hours before that they could never trust her. 

It had stirred something deep inside of Adora, to be loved and treated so openly with kindness like this. 

In a sense, Catra wasn’t wrong to think that Adora had left the Horde for something other than a magical destiny that was thrust upon her. 

But she wonders if Catra will ever forgive her for giving her a true but selfish reason for leaving. 

“You’re right.” Adora admits eventually. She drops to her knees, still a length away from Catra, but close enough to reach out and touch her if either of them wanted to. “There was another reason why I left.” 

Adora places the sword gently beside her as Catra continues to stare. Now she as just as armorless and defenseless as the girl in front of her. With the words on her tip of her tongue that will expose her own weakness. 

“Thought so.” Catra says bitterly. There’s no hint of the usual vindication in her tone whenever she’s right. Adora sees her shoulders droop before her arms fold together. It was almost like she was protecting herself from whatever Adora was about to say. “So? What was it then?” 

“It’s stupid, Sir Catra.” Adora looks down in shame. She never thought that their conversation would end up here. “You’re not going to believe me.” 

“I grew up with you, Sir Adora.” Catra counters easily. Adora peers up when she hears the sad but almost teasing tone. “I’m already used to your kind of stupid.” 

Adora almost wants to laugh. Joking with Catra like this takes her back to when times were simpler. When they would nestle together on a single bed when they each had their own. Or like when they would climb to the highest point of the Fright Zone, their special spot, and talk about what the world was like beyond the borders of the only home they had ever known. 

And, more importantly, when the blades splayed on the ground between them were destined to fight alongside each other, not against each other. 

But looking at Catra now and remembering everything that has happened between them, Adora knows that there’s no turning back to those simpler times.

They can only keep going forward, wherever that path may lead them. 

“I didn’t know,” Adora murmurs so quietly that she is convinced that only the wind can hear her. “I didn’t know that you could treat the people you love so gently outside of the Horde.” 

Catra stares at her like she’s lost her mind. Adora doesn’t really blame her. She did warn Catra that it was a stupid and now she gets to hear it for herself. 

“When I met Bow and Glimmer, they were unnecessarily kind to me. They were concerned about me, even though I was their enemy. I thought they were stupid for doing that.” Adora continues, gripping the fabric of her pants to keep herself steady. “But they genuinely cared for me without expecting anything from me and it shook me to my core. It was something I never experienced before.” 

“So what? Sparkles and Arrow Boy were nice to you once time and that was what finally convinced you to leave?” Catra shakes her head at her, but she doesn’t sound angry. “Do you know how crazy that sounds?” 

“It does sound crazy. But it’s the truth and I don’t regret it at all.” Adora murmurs, holding onto the slim chance that Catra might believe her. “Because the kindness that Bow and Glimmer showed made me realize that everyone in the Horde should have been treating you like that all along.” 

Adora reaches out to tangle their fingers together. Seeking comfort and in turn, giving it right back. Catra’s face reddens at the sight of their lined hands, but Adora continues to push forward. 

“So yes, I left the Horde, Sir Catra. But please believe me when I say that it was never because I wanted to leave you.” Adora tells her honestly. She strokes the fine fur on Catra’s knuckles as she speaks. “There wasn’t a day that went by in the Rebellion where I didn’t wish that you were by my side. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t wish you were there to be treated the way they treated me.” 

Catra bites her lips and tilts her head back, but she squeezes their hands together tightly. Like she was anchoring herself to Adora once again. Her claws lightly prick the skin of Adora’s knuckles, but Adora doesn't comment on it. The pressure almost feels grounding and Adora immediately craves more of it. Especially since their friendship has been adrift ever since they parted all those years ago. 

“You know,” Catra manages to say a few moments later. Her voice sounds wet with an emotion that Adora could not place. “You should have started with that a long time ago. It would have saved us years of fighting.” 

Adora smiles sadly at her, even though Catra isn’t looking directly at her to see it. They’ve wasted so much time because they never took the time to understand each other. 

Adora just doesn’t want to waste anymore time. 

“I guess the words that I mean to say don’t really come out the way I want to when they matter the most.” Adora shrugs in reply, because it’s the truth. “And you always did say that I was an idiot.”

Catra wheezes out a short cackle at that and Adora joins her by letting out a laugh of her own. It is not long before their chuckles die down, because Adora recognizes the look in Catra’s eyes, like she has more that she wants to say.

“I don’t think I deserve to be treated with that kind of gentleness anymore, Sir Adora.” Catra tells her bitterly. Adora wants to protest, but Catra knows her better than anyone, so she shakes her head to stop Adora’s from speaking. 

“I’ve played a hand in killing so many innocent people in the name of the Horde and out of my own anger.” Catra grits out. She sounds disappointed and angry at herself. “There was Thaymore, Salineas and even Sparkles’ mother-“ 

Adora notices that they both minutely wince at the mention of the former Queen for different reasons, but Adora is sure that both of their reactions are rooted in remorse. 

Catra bites her lip, worrying on it mercilessly as she looks down in shame. She looks scared. She looks so young. Nothing like the terrifying Horde Commander that the knights of the Rebellion know her as. And nothing like the way that Adora has ever seen her in all the years she has known her. 

Right now, Catra looks like someone who has been raised and trapped by the flames of war and the pain that others have caused her. To a normal person, it would have burned and charred them beyond repair. But Catra was still here, even if she thought she was nothing more than a sad and defeated knight, but Adora knows that she will rise from it. Because she has the utmost faith in her former best friend. 

She’s Catra after all. And in Adora’s mind, Catra was capable of doing anything. 

“If I go with you,” Catra murmurs unsurely before she hesitates. Adora gives their joined hands a gentle squeeze to urge her to continue. “Do you think the Rebellion would ever truly forgive me for what I’ve done?” 

It’s a loaded question. One that Adora knows that she doesn’t have the answer to. But seeing Catra like this, so full of remorse for the things she has done, shifts something inside of her. 

Running on pure instinct, Adora lifts one of their join hands to the curve of her own cheek. A sign of trust and of weakness. Catra’s hands are calloused. Adora focuses on that as she tries not to think of how Shadow Weaver would do this to control and manipulate them. She was gone and she couldn’t hurt them anymore. 

Adora knows better now. Touching like this didn’t have to be held with the threat of manipulation and pain hanging over their heads. She wants to teach it to Catra. And in doing so, she unconsciously extends the gesture of gentleness that was shown to her all those years ago. 

“They might not and they don’t have to.” Adora whispers truthfully against the skin of Catra’s wrist. She can almost feel Catra’s breath stutter at what must surely be her words. Catra looks resigned to her fate of being trapped in an endless cycle of anger and hatred. But Adora is simply ready for all of it to be over as she looks at Catra and then looks ahead to a future full of possibilities between them. 

“But I do.” 

A thrumming desire in Adora’s heart compels her to press her lips against Catra’s wrists gently. Catra gasps softly before Adora pulls away, hoping that her show of vulnerability didn’t push Catra further away from her. 

Catra shakes her head and laughs quietly. There are tears that form at the corners of her eyes before they spill forth. Adora hopes they’re from happiness and hopes that they are a sign of a new beginning for both of them. 

“You really are such an idiot.” 

Adora doesn’t know how long they sit there, huddled together underneath the light of Etheria’s three moons. Even as her knees begin to ache from kneeling in the grass for so long, Adora doesn’t mention it. 

Adora takes a deep breath that is perfectly time in with Catra’s own shuddering and shaky ones. They both take another one together and then another. And all the while, Adora continues to hold Catra’s hands with the gentleness that she had always deserved. 

________

“Alright, _children_.” Glimmer sighs as she presses the ice pack against Adora’s face. Adora tries not to wince as the coldness permeates her skin. “Do you two have anything to say for yourselves?”

Even if Adora’s eye is definitely swelling from their earlier tussles, she still manages to meet Catra’s gaze from across the medical tent with her good one. 

Catra has the gall to look sheepish, even as Sir Scorpia is practically a hurricane around her, franticallying fussing over the possibility of her wounds opening again. Catra kind of just shrugs her shoulders in a _what can you do_ kind of motion as a response to Glimmer’s question. 

Adora would laugh at the gesture if she didn’t feel like she would be the only one to find this situation funny. 

“Not really,” Adora smiles cheekily at Glimmer’s accusations. “I'm just glad to have my best friend back.” 

Glimmer groans and complains loudly at her response. But Catra smiles at her, wide and bright, and it’s enough to make Adora believe that everything was finally going to be ok. 

______

Adora spends the next few days relearning every as much as she can about Catra before Glimmer finally pulls her aside to discuss their next course of action. 

“If Sir Catra and the Horde knights are staying with us, then we’ll probably need to head back to Bright Moon.” Glimmer sighs. She pushes the mounds of paperwork on her desk to the side to make room to lay her head on. Adora tries not to wince at the stress this entire situation is causing her best friend. 

“We’ll have to ask them all if they’d like to join the Rebellion and if they don’t,” Glimmer continues, her voice slightly muffled from being pressed against the desk, “then we’ll have to meet with all of the village heads throughout the kingdom so we can integrate them into our society and then-“ 

“ _Glimmer_.” Adora interrupts her before she loses herself in a tangent of despair. She reaches out to place a hand on her shoulder, hoping to reassure her. “We’ve got this okay? And you know that Bow and I are here to help you in any way that we can.” 

Glimmer smiles up at her gratefully and Adora continues to voice her support of the plan. It’s the next logical step forward really, they couldn’t stay at their camp in the Whispering Woods and 

When she breaks the news to Catra that they’ll be leaving for Bright Moon’s castle the next morning, she isn’t surprised that she’s a bit hesitant at the idea of going back there. 

But Adora must have some lucky stars on her side, because Sir Scorpia just so happened to be stopping in for a visit when Adora was having a little bit of trouble convincing their mutual friend. 

“Come on, Wildcat.” Sir Scorpia practically begs. Adora tries not to laugh at the way Catra shields herself from Scorpia’s puppy dog eyes and pout. “I think it’s a great idea!” 

“I don’t know, Scorpia.” Catra mutters quietly. She crosses her arms and folds in on herself, the picture perfect pose of someone who is unsure. “I don’t exactly have the best reputation in Bright Moon.” 

Adora tries not to wince at the truth of those words. It definitely wouldn’t help her case in convincing Catra to come with her. 

“But it’ll be different this time! We’re not going there as enemies! Or knights of the Horde!” Sir Scorpia proclaims loudly before she turns to face Adora, like she was seeking back up for her claim. “Right, Sir Adora?” 

Catra shoots her a pleading look, as if she wanted Adora to not add any additional wood to the fire to fuel Scorpia’s pleas. 

It was just too bad for Catra that Sir Scorpia has a pout that is terribly effective against Adora’s willpower. (And not to mention the fact that Adora really wanted Catra to come along with them to Bright Moon too.) 

“She’s right, Sir Catra.” Adora answers truthfully. She smiles at the look of joy that illuminates Sir Scorpia’s face and the scowl marrs Catra’s own. She puts on her most haughty and formal voice, knowing that it will annoy Catra to no ends now that Adora has betrayed her like this. “Her Royal Majesty has personally extended her protection to all of the former knights of the Horde, if you choose to accept.” 

Catra narrows her eyes at Adora’s royal tone and the meaning of her words, but Adora just winks back innocently at her. 

“See, Wildcat?” Sir Scorpia tells her excitedly. She’s practically bouncing out of her seat. “Think about it! No more Lorde Prime watching over us, no choking on the Fright Zone smog, hot water, 3 full meals a day-“ 

“Your own rooms.” Adora casually supplies. 

“Our own rooms!” Sir Scorpia reiterates loudly. She brings her claws together and unfortunately, for Catra, Scorpia seems intent on unleashing the full might of her pleading eyes and pout. 

Adora triumphantly smiles as she watches Catra’s resolve crumble. 

“ _Fine.”_ Catra finally relents. Adora finds herself joining in on Sir Scorpia’s whoop of joy. Catra doesn't seem too pleased that they’re bonding, because she sends Adora another glare. “But this is _not_ because I like you.” 

Adora can’t help but send Catra an infuriatingly smug smile at the familiar phrase. 

“You know that I didn’t actually say anything right?”

“You didn’t need to. It’s written all over your dumb face.” 

Adora shoves Catra away lightly at the insult, but Adora eventually lets it slide. Because after all of these years, Catra was _finally_ going with her to Bright Moon. 

______

Adora laughs as she drags Catra through Bright Moon’s castle, while the latter complains every step along the way. 

It’s nearing dusk when Adora is near the end of her tour, with just one stop left. Adora is sure that she’s exuding too much nervous energy, because Catra hasn’t stopped asking where they were going. 

“And this,” Adora announces proudly as she gestures to their surroundings, “is the royal family’s private garden.” 

Catra is silent as she peers around and Adora doesn’t blame her. It’s kind of a lot to take in. From the waterfall (that definitely isn’t used for showering) to the low hanging trees and bushes that surround the garden’s pathway, it’s the picture perfect scene of tranquility. 

Adora had purposely left it for last because the garden seems to come to life at dusk. Glimmer had confided in her that her father had set up an enchantment that lets the bushes and trees glow in a pale purple hue just before the sun fully set as an anniversary gift for the Queen. 

They had still worked to this day, even though it’s been years since the former King had passed. And Adora, who had never seen magic be used for something like love before, had been enchanted ever since. 

“It’s quiet.” Catra says dryly as she continues to step deeper into the gardens. “And kind of bright.” 

“It’s _peaceful_.” Adora counters, fully expecting Catra’s snark. She hangs back a bit and lets Catra wander. To let Catra soak all of this in. “And it’s absolutely beautiful.” 

Catra hums in agreement at her words, before she turns to face her. Adora unconsciously gulps at the way Catra’s eyes seem to glint even brighter than the glowing greenery that surrounds them.

For some odd reason, Adora wants to tell Catra that she belongs in the gardens, because she cannot deny that they are both undeniably beautiful. 

But before Adora can even begin to process the thought that popped into her head, Catra’s eyes turn mischievous and playful, making Adora focus on her instead. 

“I didn’t realize that you were a part of the royal family, Sir Adora.” Catra smirks at her. “Don’t tell me that I have to report you to your superiors for blatantly disobeying orders?” 

Adora laughs at the accusation as she falls into step with Catra as they begin to wander deeper into the gardens. 

“Glimmer actually extended the offer to Bow and I to use the gardens whenever we need it.”

“Well, that’s very generous of Queen Sparkles.” 

Adora smiles at Catra’s usual nickname for Glimmer with the unusual twist. It’s an uncommon sign of respect for Catra to address anyone by their formal title, especially since she and Glimmer had always been enemies. Adora doesn’t comment on it, especially since she’s too busy sneaking some glances at Catra, hoping that she was enjoying herself. 

“You know, Queen Angella and Glimmer used to go out here for tea whenever they weren’t arguing.” Adora chuckles lightly as she recalls the memory. “And on the really good days, the Queen was kind enough to invite Bow and I along to join them, even though I didn’t have enough good manners back then to be drinking tea with the Queen.” 

Catra flinches at the mention of the Queen, but Adora knows better than to press her about it until she’s ready. 

Adora lets Catra keep her secrets, because she has some of her own. Like the real reason why she wanted Catra to experience the garden. 

Over their years apart Adora let herself imagine what it would be like to bring Catra here. She couldn’t help but think that the trees in the garden were the perfect height for Catra to sneak away to if she ever wanted to take a nap. She was always doing that back in the Horde, finding someplace to tuck safely away while she disregarded training and her duties. 

Adora couldn’t help but think how much happier Catra would be, knowing that she could slip away without being reprimanded for it. 

On the really bad days when it seemed like the war would never end, Adora would catch herself daydreaming about spending a day in the sun and shade with. Maybe they would train, or hide from Bow and Glimmer as they ditched their responsibilities or maybe they would laugh until their ribs hurt as they recalled the times in the Horde where they played pranks on all the other knights in training. 

Adora couldn’t help but long for any of those possibilities, because they were all much better than the reality that she had to actually endure. 

And in one particularly fascinating daydream that seemed to ease her aching heart, Adora would reach out to stroke the fine line of fur that looked softer than silk itself. Catra would close her eyes and nuzzle against her hand when she did and Adora believed that everything would finally be truly okay in the world. 

Adora snapped herself out of those memories quickly back then, because she knew it was a selfish thing to want for in the middle of an all out war. But she had never given up hope for those desires. And now, Catra was _finally_ here with her, and that was all that mattered. 

“I almost forgot to ask but,” Adora murmurs almost shyly. She scratches the back of her neck, wondering where this nervousness had come from. She was _never_ nervous around Catra. “Do you like it?” 

Catra pauses at her question and Adora watches as she takes one last look around her. Catra closes her eyes and tips her head back to inhale the fresh air, so different from the choking smog of the fright zone, before she lets her shoulders relax to enjoy the world around her. 

Adora knows what this means, she’s seen it so many times before back in the Horde. It’s a sign that Catra is willingly letting her guard down in front of her. 

Adora’s mind and heart were always confused and conflicted by the open display. When they were the last ones in the Horde locker room after a long day of sword training. Catra would shove her helmet and armor off after a long day of training, revealing her the glistening expanse of sweaty skin to the world again. Adora would watch as she tipped her head back against the locker, eyes slipping close, as she breathed out a sigh of relief at the end of another long day. 

It was a sign of trust that Catra allowed Adora to see her like this. An honest viewing of Catra relaxing without any of her masks to protect her. But even though it was Catra who had her neck and weaknesses displayed to the world, Adora could never explain she felt like she was the vulnerable one back then. 

Adora feels the same way now, seeing Catra like this again. But this time, she doesn’t have a clue as to why her own heartbeat is pounding so loudly, deafening her own ears. She struggles to swallow through the dryness of her own throat as she waits for Catra’s response to her question. 

“I think I could learn to.” Catra quietly replies. Her eyes soften in gentleness as they look her way and Adora feels her heart immediately leap it’s way into her throat without her permission. 

It’s not much of an answer, but it is still a small truth. An honest display of vulnerability after all their years of fighting. And it is more than enough for Adora to promise to walk the lengths of the garden with Catra everyday until she does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...2021 huh?....yikes!
> 
> Sorry it took so long for me to continue this! I definitely didn’t expect to be so busy over the holidays! So now that they’re over, I can go back to regularly writing!
> 
> Thanks again for reading! Kudos and comments are always welcome and appreciated here!!!


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